Chapter 31

Truth and Love

Justin knocked on the door and waited for only a moment before Aradon opened it. The butler smiled and bowed him inside.

“Would you like me to take your jacket, Master Justin?” He asked politely.

“That won’t be necessary, Aradon. He’ll need it.” Kiliki spoke, appearing in the doorway of the parlor.

Aradon nodded and left the hallway, closing the front door.

Justin looked at Kiliki and waited. Obviously, she knew something he didn’t.

Kiliki studied him for a moment and grinned. “I’m glad, Justin. She’s by the pond.”

“Glad?” Justin asked, but Kiliki had already disappeared back into the parlor. Justin shook his head in amazement. He had only stepped in the door. How could she have known? Yet, somehow, he was sure she did know he had given his life to God.

He decided not to question her, but to head to the pond immediately to find Dabria. She was the one he needed to speak to. His horse seemed to sense his urgency and moved at a quick pace towards the clear blue water. It was a relief to finally see the top of the large tree that stood at its edge finally come into view. Justin frowned as he approached. There was only one horse tethered to the tree, happily munching on the grass. They hadn’t left Dabria alone. Where was Salena?

He pulled his horse to a walk and approached the pond more slowly, not wanting to startle her. A quick flash back took him to the last time he had met Dabria in this very spot. The meeting had ended far differently than he planned. He could only pray this time would be a happier ending. He smiled at how easily it was to think of praying for a good result. Still, that would depend on Dabria’s health and what she could understand. If there was only one horse, perhaps she was better? Or was Salena simply giving her a little space?

Justin jumped down off his horse and scanned the area. He had brought his own steed next to the tethered one and he quickly did the same to his. Stepping around the horse, he saw Dabria, completely absorbed, at the water’s edge. She looked to be playing with the water, letting it lap at her hand gently. She made quite the picture with her light blue dress contrasting against the deep blue green of the water. Her white blond hair pushed back from her face slightly on the side facing him and hanging down freely on the other. A small smile played with her lips as if whatever she was thinking created a small moment of joy for her. From here, Justin couldn’t see if her eyes were clear or not, but the scene gave him hope.

“Dabria?” He called gently.

The girl’s hand movements still and she glanced slowly up. Her smile broadened and lit up her face. “Justin.” She stood and for a moment looked as if she would run to him, but seemed to catch herself. Instead, she walked towards him and he met her half way. “It’s been a long time.”

“Not as long for me has it has been for you,” Justin replied smiling. “You’re better.”

Dabria nodded. “For a few days now. We’ve been waiting for you to get back. The others will be pleased.”

The others? Justin almost questioned out loud. What about her? “I already saw Kiliki. I’m sure she will let them know. She told me where to find you.”

“That does sound like my sister. Did she even say hello to you?”

Justin frowned for a moment then laughed. “Actually, no.”

Dabria smiled and shrugged. “She has her priorities.”

An awkward silence filled the space between them. It had been so long and the last time they had parted it had not been on good terms. Justin was surprised though that the pain could seem to last and take away their once easy conversation.

“It’s been a long time since we last stood here,” Justin finally said.

“Yes,” Dabria whispered, her eyes not leaving Justin’s face.

He shifted uncomfortably. How was he supposed to say this? He shot up a quick prayer to his new Father and the answer seemed to grow in his heart. “Dabria, I was a fool then. I’m sorry.”

“A fool? Why do you think that?” Dabria asked, curious, but not denying the validity of his statement.

“I was so full of myself, my pride, it seems to be my downfall,” Justin admitted. “I was angry at you for not fighting, for giving in so easily, but what I offered in return wasn’t really an answer, just a delay tactic. I should have realized before I even asked that you would have to tell me no.”

Dabria still didn’t move and Justin swallowed. She wasn’t going to make this easy at all.

“Are you going to say anything?” Justin finally asked.

“What would you like me to say?” Dabria questioned, crossing her arms.

“Something besides just staring at me!”

“I accept your apology,” she finally answered.

Justin frowned. He was glad of that, but something was drastically wrong with her. Dabria was much too closed off. As if she was refusing to get emotional about anything, which was highly unlike her.

“Okay, what’s wrong? What did I do this time?” Justin asked frustrated.

Dabria blinked. “Wrong? Nothing.”

“Then why are you staring at me like a statue? Where is all that Dabria emotion?”

“Maybe it’s all been spent,” Dabria said quietly.

“Spent?”

Dabria uncrossed her arms and turned her back to him walking back to the edge of the lake. Justin followed quietly, unsure what else to do.

“It has been a long time,” Dabria muttered. “So much has changed and yet, here it seems like nothing has. I feel so drained at times. Out here, I feel just a little more alive, like God is still smiling and things can work out.”

“You don’t think that at the house?” Justin asked.

“Sometimes. But it can be hard to think at all in there.”

Justin nodded, knowing that feeling quite well.

“I survived a kidnapping, managed to close my mind off from all contact, was rescued, and yet, it was all a side adventure. The truth still remains that per my parents’ orders, I am engaged to be married to Leon at the appropriate time. Everything has changed and yet it all remains the same.”

“No, Pixie, nothing remains the same, not anymore,” Justin corrected softly.

Dabria turned to him. “What do you mean?”

“That’s what I’ve come to tell you. I found another option, but this time I offer it humbly and I will hold no resentment against you if you should tell me no,” Justin spoke firmly, but he could feel his stomach tightening at that possibility. What would he do then? Perhaps leave for foreign lands and never return.

“Um, all right,” Dabria replied, nervously.

Justin took a step forward and gathered her hands in his. Then took a deep breath and spoke, “I stood here months ago and offered to find you the perfect guy. I wanted you to have someone who would understand you and your spirit. To know you are the one that matters above all others and he never wants to leave your side, but to help you follow all your dreams. I was young and foolish to ask you to go and look for such a man.”

“Why?” Dabria whispered, her voice sounding like she might cry.

“I was so mad at you for not wanting to fight for what you deserved,” Justin continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “I couldn’t see past that. You accused me of abandoning you and that was exactly what I was doing again. I just didn’t know it.”

“I shouldn’t have made you feel that way. You did come for me faithfully. I was just hurt and…” Dabria had to stop when Justin dropped one of her hands to move his fingers to her mouth.

“You were right. I did think about you when you weren’t on my ship, I always thought of you, but I never went to your house unless it was time to bring you here. I could easily have stopped and yet I didn’t. While you were never far from my thoughts, in that way I did abandon you. I was furious with myself and yet last time we stood here, I let it happen again. I didn’t think I had a choice after you chose him.” Justin said ‘him’ like it was a filthy word. “But it was my turn to fight and I didn’t.”

“I hurt you and I did it on purpose,” Dabria whispered.

“What?” Justin asked, surprised.

“I was so angry at you. You said all the right things but in all the wrong ways. I wanted you to understand me, to understand what I felt, but you never did. I was so angry and hurt; I agreed to marry Leon out of frustration. I should never have done that. It has caused so much pain, but I was desperate and thinking with my heart instead of my head. Your problem may be pride, but that is mine,” Dabria admitted.

“I guess we both made some big mistakes.” Justin dropped her other hand from his and Dabria only nodded.

“We are both strong willed and hot tempered as Aunt Jada would say,” Dabria said a few moments later.

“Aunt Jada usually gets it right,” Justin agreed.

“It’s because of that we let this get so far out of hand,” Dabria muttered.

“When we should have trusted each other, we hurt each other instead.”

“I’ve always trusted you, Justin. I know you’ve always wanted what’s best for me, but your actions to that end aren’t always… the best,” Dabria finally finished.

Justin laughed. “I know. I’ve let my pride and my need for control take up to much of my life. I think I was holding on so tightly that I lost what I could have had because of it.” He paused and turned to her, “Like you.”

Dabria’s face stilled and slowly she turned to look up at him. “Me?” She whispered.

“You asked me long ago to understand. I couldn’t then. But I thought long and hard about what you were trying to tell me that day. You said you wanted the man I described, but it took me a long time to realize I should have been that man.”

“You?” Dabria squeaked.

“I love you, Dabria. I need you as much as I think you need me.” Once again, he gathered her hand in his and tugged gently, pulling her close. “I want to be that man for you, Dabria. I want to show you the world in a way you have never seen, to take you on adventures where your spirit is free. My world crashed when I thought I had lost you, first to Leon and then to Walton. All I could think of was finding and protecting you. I wanted to feel you in my arms, to know you were safe, and never let you go. I love you so much. You are so amazing, my Pixie, I’ve watched you grow into a woman that any man would be glad to call his wife. But I don’t want you to be in the arms of just any man. I want you in mine.”

“Justin…” Dabria tried to speak, but her eyes were teary and her thoughts jumbled.

“I know, I know I’m not really worthy of you, but I’ve learned that I’m not worthy of anything without God. I gave my life to Him, Dabria, only a few nights ago. He has been teaching me hard lessons and I’m not so sure I’ve learned them all, but I’m willing to try. Kiliki said that until I learned to love the God you serve, I’d never be able to love you the way you deserved. I’m still not sure I can, but I know God will help me every day to be a man worthy of being called your husband.”

“Husband…” Dabria was having issues getting more than one word out at a time.

“I think we can follow Him better together than we can apart. We can be the couple He wants us to be. I have no idea what that looks like or where He might take us, but I’d really like to find out. What do you say, Dabria, will you marry me?” Justin held his breath.

Dabria laid her head on his chest for a moment and seemed to breathe deeply, so Justin released her hands to wrap his arms around her and hold her. He took a deep breath and prayed for patience and an answer he could live with.

“That night, so long ago,” Dabria murmured against his chest and Justin had to strain slightly to hear her, “I knew you were outside my window. I wanted so badly to go to you and make you understand. When you described the perfect husband for me, Justin, all I wanted in that moment was for that man to be you.”

Justin’s heart leapt and he moved her back slightly, so he could raise her chin to allow their eyes to meet. “That’s what you wanted? I wish I had known then!”

“You weren’t ready and, I guess, neither was I. But I knew. I had been fighting it for so long. When I was just a child on your boat, I developed such a crush on you. But I always thought it would go away and then when I heard you speak that night, I knew it was hopeless. At some point over the years, I had fallen in love with you.”

Dabria’s admission made Justin react without thinking. Slowly, his head came down and hers rose to meet him. In an instant, their lips met in love’s first kiss. It started in a way that was gentle and sweet and yet in moments it was filled with passion and desire. A promise of a life they had both been waiting for, a kiss in its purest form.

It was a long time before either of them lifted their heads. They breathed together for a moment, basking in the knowledge that they belonged to each other.

“That is a yes then?” Justin asked, with a knowing smile.

“Yes, my love,” Dabria paused, frowning.

“What is it?” Justin asked, concern flowing through him.

“Leon. We can’t make it official until I break off the engagement with him. My parents will not be happy,” Dabria sighed.

“Can we tell the family?” Justin almost pleaded.

Dabria laughed. “I’m not so sure we are going to have to!”

“True. Kiliki’s probably already told them it’s coming anyway.”

“Which means Aunt Jada is planning a celebration. But Leon...that’s cruel to him,” Dabria fretted.

“Don’t worry, love, we will nicely force her to keep it quiet until you can break it off. As for your parents, once you are married, there is nothing they can do, except perhaps cut you off.”

Dabria tilted her head, thinking. “They might. But I’m their only true daughter. I don’t think it will last.”

“Then it’s all settled?” Justin asked, cautiously.

“I guess so. But, what will we do? Where will we live?” Dabria’s question kept coming.

Justin laughed and kissed her silent. “We will live on The Guardian Star for now. As for what we will do, we will know when God tells us.”

“Living on The Guardian Star… we have some adjustments to make in that cabin of yours!” Dabria warned, but Justin just laughed.

“Make all the adjustments you want, Pixie. Would you be happy living on The Guardian Star? It is far different then only spending a couple of weeks on it at a time.”

“Of course, I love being on the sea and your ship has always been my home. Can we stop and see all the different places in Zerlinda?” Dabria asked, her excitement causing her to bounce a little.

Justin wrapped his arms around her tightly and picking her up, spun her in circles, until they were both laughing so hard he had to set her down. “As long as we are together, we can go anywhere you want and have whatever adventures you want to try. As long, as you aren’t in real danger,” Justin amended quickly, as he thought out loud. “I think God will change my current mission on the sea as The Falconer. Perhaps, only my motivation has changed, but until God points us in the direction He wants us to follow, we may do whatever you like.”

“I like the sound of that!” Dabria agreed promptly. She sighed and snuggled in close to Justin. “To think, dreams do come true.”

Justin hugged her close. “Yes, if you’re not too stubborn to let God work. We are going to have a wonderful life, Dabria, with God has our Guardian Star.”

“I cannot wait to begin it, my love.”

They shared a smile and Justin kissed his bride to be with the promise of tomorrow.

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