Chapter 25

Fighting to Survive

Dabria shivered and clutched her arms tighter to her chest. She had been so hot a moment ago, but now she felt as if she could never get warm. It scared her that she had no idea if the sickness was back or if it was a simple fever. She had no way to know, but she tried desperately to keep the knot in her stomach down and her breathing even. She had long ago run out of pictures in her mind to count and instead concentrated on keeping her mind completely blank.

Somewhere on this ship Kiliki, Tommy, and Adem were also being held. Dabria wasn’t sure if they had been put together or were being held separately, but she didn’t want Kiliki to hear she was sick and worry more. She had enough with Adem and her husband. Tommy was their only hope. If he didn’t figure a way out of this mess, they had no rescue waiting in the wings.

Dabria’s tired mind flashed to Justin, his long black hair waving around his face and his green eyes staring at something unseen. She had no idea where the man she loved was. He had no reason to return to her, she had made sure of that, and there was no way to contact him. Justin was lost to her and so was any chance of him rescuing her family.

Dabria released one of her hands to wipe away a tear.

“Don’t think, Bree,” she whispered. “Breathe, but don’t think.”

She closed her eyes and dropped her head. How much longer could it be?

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It was hours or maybe days before the door to her cage was opened and a plate of stale bread was shoved into her cell. They took their time between feedings. Whoever it was, spoke not a word, and was gone just as quickly. The key in the lock made a scratching noise of rusted metal, but there was no doubt in Dabria’s clouded mind that it would hold her for as long as was needed. A tear trailed down her cheek and her breath shuttered as she reached for the bread. It crunched her hand and she was sure if she could see it better, there would be mold on some of it. Their captor was certainly not sparing any expense. Adem would soon be sick eating this stuff and so would she.

How long had they been down here now? Could it last much longer? She had no answers and even the questions were beginning to get foggy. She wanted real food and good water. She was so cold now too. Her whole body shivered and her nightshift provided no warmth. Her body ached for the softness and warmth of the bed she had left behind.

She felt the small animal brush by her fingers and her mind screamed rat. Her reaction was much slower. She had a hard time pulling her hand away from the area, not that it mattered. She had discovered many of the creatures in the dark. At least, for the most part they left her alone. She didn’t have the strength or energy needed to either be scared or to get away from them.

“Please, please get us out of here,” she whispered through cracked lips. For once, she wondered if her Abba was even listening.

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 “Get up!” The voice yelled again, obviously it wasn’t the first time.

Dabria struggled to sit up. At some point she had collapsed to the wood deck, though she couldn’t remember that. Her arms shook with weakness, but she managed to sit. Her tongue passed over her dry lips.

“Water?” Her voice broke.

“Is that a demand? Ha! You’ll get water all right. Up!”

He reached into her cage and yanked her to her feet. If he hadn’t held her arm so hard she would have fallen back to the deck.

“Where…” she paused and tried again, “where are we going?”

“You have an appointment to keep,” he replied roughly, as he yanked her forward. She stumbled and followed.

He led her up the stairs to the main deck. Her eyes stung and she had to close them immediately to the bright light of the sun. She hadn’t seen it in days and while the warmth felt good the light was painful. It wasn’t until she was halfway across the deck that she was really able to see and then she wished she wasn’t. All the men on the deck had stopped their work to leer at her. They all grinned with crooked smiles and their eyes told stories of what they wished they could do, while their hands fidgeted. She shuddered. This was truly a pirate’s ship. She would find no friends here. Her captor led her to the Great Cabin and shoved her inside.

“Head’s over there. Get cleaned and get dressed,” he ordered.

“Dressed?”

He pointed to the large bed where a red barely-there ornamental dress was laid out.

“No,” she responded automatically.

He barked a laugh that was not pleasant. “You will. Or I will help you.”

She swallowed hard. “I can do it.”

He shrugged. “Quick like. The captain is already on his way. Wouldn’t want to come in halfway through, would you?” He laughed at her look of absolute horror.

Dabria snatched the dress and hurried to the head as fast as she could, though she stumbled on weak legs rather than running. Once inside, she breathed heavily as she leaned against the door, her legs barely holding her up. She didn’t want the pirate captain to enter with her not yet dressed, but for the moment she was simply too weak to move.

She struggled to clear her mind of the fog that still surrounded it. She had to think clearly. She had seen this man in action, she had to have her wits about her and right now she was too weak to ford off any of his advances. She glanced at the dress in her hand. It was clear what he wanted. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was too dry. Letting the dress slip to the floor in a pile she managed to cross to the water basin. Slowly, she let her fingers dip into the cool clear water. Pulling up one hand, she sucked the water of her fingers. It tasted slightly stale, but cool and wet. She dipped her hand in again, this time making a cup with them and drank thirstily. The cool liquid made its way down her throat. She drank again and again, before finally taking the water and splashing it onto her face. The pitcher was full as well and she emptied that, cleaning herself off as best as she could. Feeling slightly better and clearer, she turned to stare at the red dress crumpled on the floor. It was either that or meet the captain in her nightshift again. The thought of having him walk in when she was changing or her guard helping her to change was enough to get her moving. Slowly, she pulled the dress over her head and onto her body. The material was soft and clung slightly to her. It didn’t quite fit her, because of her small stature, but she was able to poke and prod it to give herself decent coverage. She had just finished when there was a knock on the door.

“Out. Now. Ready or not,” the voice of her prison guard demanded.

She took a deep breath and excited the head. In the Great Cabin, a table had been prepared with mouth watering food. It smelled heavenly, especially after the moldy bread. She glanced around the room to take her mind off of it. Every corner was crammed with some trinket or another, most of it was artifacts no doubt stolen, statues of girls were draped in jewel necklaces, open jewelry chest were in several different spots, and expensive cloths hung between furniture. The table took up the middle of the room, but at the far end was a bed large enough for the king of Zerlinda. She pulled her eyes away from the monstrosity to find her captor staring at her.

“Small, but you clean up,” he commented.

She crossed her arms in front of her body. “Why am I here?”

He barked a laugh. “Why do you think? Sit before you fall.” He indicated a chair at the table.

She shook her head, but when he stepped toward her, she sat quickly. It didn’t help she wouldn’t have been able to stand much longer anyway.

He laughed again. “Compliant too. That won’t be as much fun for him.”

She swallowed and began a chant in the back of her mind. Breath, two, three… Breath, two, three… Her task was to keep the chant going no matter what happened.

The door to the Great Cabin opened and she turned to see the pirate from the night of their capture towering in the doorway. He was dressed very fancy for a pirate captain. His white shirt was all billows and his breeches were tied smartly at the knee with a feather. His doublet was stitched with gold and silver in a pattern that spoke of status. Even his hat had a huge white plume attached to it. This was a man who thought greatly of himself and expected others too as well. He entered and stared at her for a moment. His blue eyes held the look of a man who knew how to get what he wanted. His face was handsome enough, and his wide shoulders and stout body created the impression of an impenetrable wall. She suppressed a shiver and concentrated on her breathing. She needed to stay in control. The moment she released that to him it would all be over. She had to keep the chant going and to follow its steady command to breath.

“The dress is fitting, mon chere,” he commented.

She stayed silent.

“You may leave,” he indicated to her captor. “I will handle the damsel from here.”

“Aye, Captain,” her guard replied. He left without looking at her and as the door closed with a thud behind him, Dabria realized the only person holding the captain back had just left. She was alone with a man who had hunted her, if his story from the house was to be believed.

“You are more beautiful in proper lighting, mon chere. I have only seen you from afar and in his house. You will find we are more,” he paused to chuckle, “liberating here. We have not been properly introduced, mon chere. My name is Captain Walton. You may call me Sir Walton or Captain Walton, whichever you prefer. Although, soon enough, my dear, you will leave off the title as you scream my name in passion. ” He gave a hearty laugh.

She wanted to throw up or faint, she wasn’t sure which, but she could taste the bile in her mouth, and the smell of the food was making her weak with hunger. He must have sensed it, because he walked closer to the table and indicated the spread before her.

“You must be hungry. The food was prepared for you. Eat. I have knowledge that says you have not eaten well in days.” He laughed.

He took the seat next to her and grabbed up a turkey leg. His teeth tore into the flesh of the bird and ripped it apart. The sight disgusted her, but her mouth revolted by watering at the smell of the food.

“I know you can talk.” He spoke again after swallowing. “You must have questions for me.”

She had tons, but none she really wanted to ask. At this point, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to know the answers. She could feel her body shaking from the stress it was already under, more information could only hurt.

“Mon chere, perhaps you are waiting for me to feed you? I am sure we can find many interesting ways to accommodate such a wish.” His voice was pure velvet and laced with a seductive tone that made her want to cringe.

It took all of her power not to respond. Instead, she forced herself to pick up an apple and bit into it. The apple crunched and the sweet tangy taste filled her mouth. She sucked it for a moment it and closed her eyes as she savored the familiar taste. The moldy bread had affected her taste sense more than she had realized. This was like a piece of heaven. She felt some juice dribble down her chin, she opened her eyes, and wiped it away quickly.

A handkerchief appeared in her peripheral vision. She put the apple down quickly.

He chuckled. “Do you not want this? It will help, I assure you. In fact,” he shifted closer. “Allow me.”

She stiffened completely as he leaned in and wiped her mouth and chin. The handkerchief fluttered from his hand and he used his finger to brush around her cheek and down to her throat. She swallowed involuntarily and he chuckled.

“This is only the beginning,” he whispered in her ear. “I told you, you would come to crave my touch. It will be the only touch that you know from now on.”

Dabria physically felt her heart stop and saw the room around her freeze in a haze. His words and tone proving too large of a shock for her fragile system to handle, the blood drained from her face and her breathing stopped. She could barely recognize when he pulled back slightly from her and placed a glass of water before her.

“So, the silent vixen is not impassive after all. Good. I will enjoy seducing your walls down until they hang around your perfect ankles. And, mon chere, so will you.” He said it with a conquering smile.

Somehow, Dabria found herself holding the glass of water and sipping from it slowly. How, she did so, she had no idea, but the cool liquid helped to wash away some of the shock, enough for her mind to hear the steady rhythm she had kept up in the back of her mind. Breath, two, three… Breath, two, three…

How had this happened? What was God thinking? More importantly, how was she going to survive? Speaking of God, where was He? How could He abandon her family when they most needed Him? Had she and her family not served Him faithfully? How could He be so cruel?

Her questions mocked her. As she not learned many times over that God was on her side no matter the circumstance? He had promised never to forsake her, never to leave her side. She had to believe that promise. It was all she had left.

“Come, my little vixen, eat the food I have had prepared for you.” He smiled and began to fill her plate with food. “From now on, your every need will be filled by my hand. You will come to depend solely on me.” His voice raised at the word ‘me’ as if the thought gave him great pleasure.

Had she been able to think of something to say, she wouldn’t have been able too, her mouth was so dry, having already forgotten the juice of the apple. Depend solely on him? That wasn’t right. She depended on her heavenly Father. He was the one who would take care of her. She hoped.

Her continued silence must have finally affected him, because he slammed the full plate down in front of her. “Eat!” He commanded in a voice that was no longer friendly.

She shook her head no, but even as she did, he brought his face dangerously close to hers.

“You will eat or I will force you too. You have a new life now and I can make it absolutely miserable or wonderful, your choice. Either way will be pleasurable for me and either way I win. Now, eat!”

Desperately, she tried to remember her count in her head as her body moved of its own accord to pick up a turkey leg. The food felt satisfying, but unlike the apple, she could barely taste the turkey through her terror. His face was pulled into an expression of pure malice, malice which was aimed completely at her. She had no idea what he would do to force her to bend to his will, but she knew the pirate stories as well as any young girl and none that she knew were pretty. She was sure there were more that were much, much worse.

Somehow, she stomached the food. Eventually, he sat back, arms crossed, and watched her eat, saying not a word. She couldn’t decide if that was better or worse. Could there be a better? Her food was almost gone, when he stood and she automatically stiffened. What would he do to her now? Was the torture almost over or only beginning?

He placed his large, strong hands on her shoulders and began to massage them. It was not in a caring or gently way, but in a strong and controlling fashion. His touch made her stiffen more and she fought back the tears, desperately trying to think of only the count in her head and not the unwelcome hands on her shoulders. He began to murmur to her, and she allowed his voice to wash over her without hearing the words. It was quite a while before he released her shoulders, yet he didn’t move from behind her. She saw a slip of material in front of her, but it wasn’t until it moved to cover her eyes that she began to struggle. Immediately, the hand was again on her shoulder.

“Stay still or you will regret it with everything you are.”

She already did! She wanted to scream, but the sound would not emerge and the blindfold was firmly put into place. Her breathing quickened and she slowed her count. Her heart pounded in her tightened chest so hard, she could hear it in her ears. She was going to be very sick.

He leaned closer to her and his breath came into her ear. “From now on, you will see and hear no one but me. I will be your everything and you will belong only to me. Everyone else has abounded you. I am your all.”

“I see and hear only my Heavenly Father. He will be my strength through whatever you have planned.” The words came from somewhere outside of her.

He laughed harshly. The sound was menacing and his voice ominous when he spoke. “He does not care about you. You are here in my cabin alone. We are all that matters now. He abandoned you to me. I have you in my hands and control. Do well to remember that, Little Vixen, or you will die regretting that you did not.”

Suddenly, he released her. She heard his footsteps pound across the room and the door crashed open, causing her to flinch. He bellowed for someone to come at once and then the door slammed shut. Her breath caught in her chest and she waited, but heard no other sounds. Immediately, she began to shake violently. Her count disappeared from her head and her breath began, ragged and shaky, as she tried to bring in enough air into her constricted chest for her to breathe. She was too terrified to remove the blind fold, so she left it in place. Her hands were shaking so hard, she may not have had the ability to remove it anyway. Her thoughts clouded in her mind, jamming together and apart, in such a way that her head screamed in pain. She was having a panic attack. Her sickness was coming back. She could feel the tears start to flow down her cheek as she fought the terror of what being sick on this ship would mean to her.

The door opened and footsteps came across the room. She could do nothing about it. The blindfold was removed and her guard looked down at her face. He sighed.

“You held off this hold time?” His voice sounded a little impressed. “Relax. Breath. It is over for now. You are going back to your cell.”

He pulled her up from her chair and let he back across the ship and down into her cell area, only a little more gently than the last time. He led her inside and she immediately collapsed to the floor, hardly even able to cushion her fall.

“Get yourself together. He will call again.” The ominous words were followed by the click of the lock. Slowly, the light faded from the room and she was left in the merciful dark.

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“Get up. You’re moving.”

Her brain tried to process the light and noise as it crowed into her blind senses and overwhelmed them. She couldn’t move to respond. A hand wrapped around her arm and she struggled to get up. Once on her feet, she was led out of her cage once again. When they reached the top of the stairs, instead of heading to the main cabin, she was led in the opposite direction. Where could they possibly be gong now?

He led her through the forecastle and to a door she recognized. At least, she would have if this ship was The Guardian Star. She closed her eyes and for a moment allowed herself to believe it was all a nightmare and when the door opened, Salena would be there and greet her with a hug. But when the door opened, it was nothing like her room. A bed was built into the back wall and a table was attached on the left side. The two pieces provided the only furniture in the room. A modest meal sat on the table waiting and a small porthole on the right provided precious little light.

“Your new home,” her guard said.

She looked at him. “I don’t understand.”

“You’re the captain’s now. You will stay here until we reach our destination.”

She swallowed. It was much better accommodations then the cage below.

“I’d rather be in the cage,” she said in a low voice.

“Me too,” he responded, before closing the door and locking it firmly behind him. She was trapped again.

>~>~>~><~<~<~<

Dabria set the utensil down with a sigh. Tonight, she had eaten alone. It was the first time he had not been in the room with her for an evening meal that she could remember in a while. But things had been getting fuzzier with each passing day. The only voice she was allowed to here was his, even her guard, who brought the food, never said a word any more. She thought she had tried several times, before giving up, but maybe not. Walton brought the meal in the evening. He would sit with her and talk as she ate. Sometimes he would feed her, other times, she was allowed to do it herself.

Each night, he talked about how it was them against the world. Her family didn’t love her, her God had abounded her, and he was all that mattered to her now. They needed only each other and together they would face the world and conquer whatever was thrown at them. They had only to stick together. They only needed each other. She heard the words so often that they were a consistent drone now in her mind. His voice was slowly overpowering all others. It was his voice that alone was becoming recognizable, understandable, and brought the comfort she so desperately sought.

Somewhere, deep inside of her, she knew his words were lies spoken as truth, yet she couldn’t stop herself from believing in them over time. It almost made her feel guilty, but with the sickness she had tried to battle returning that no longer mattered and very steadily, she was losing herself to him.

There was a knock on her door and it opened shortly after. She never answered anymore. Her guard was back. Instead of picking up the food, however, he took her arm and pulled her up.

This was different. Her muddled brain thought, but she made no comment. She was led out of the room for the first time since she had been put there. The sun was just setting and the shadows long on the deck. The ship had stopped. It wasn’t that she realized it, but more that it was simply a knowledge that came to her hazy mind. Was she supposed to be going somewhere? She shouldn’t be out of the cabin. This was different. Something wasn’t right. Was she in danger again?

“Where’s Walton?” He voice sounded odd even to her own ears.

The guard swung around to look at her in shock, but finally answered, “He will come for you soon.”

She nodded, feeling contentment at the answer steal away the dread in her stomach. If he was coming, then things must be okay. He would make it okay and she would be safe. She just wanted to be safe. She didn’t like the terror of the night. It was mean and it forced her to be sick. She wanted to be calm.

“Dabria! Dabria!” The female voice called her from somewhere far away. “Dabria, we are here!”

“Shut yer trap, wench!”

“Ahh!”

“Don’t touch her!”

A laugh sounded. “Whatcha gonna do about it, Black Panther? You’re trapped!”

“Come on, Black Panther! Try something!” A new voice joined in the taunting.

“Dad! Why are they doing this?” A small voice asked.

“It will be okay, Adem. Don’t worry.”

Another laugh. “No, you won’t! Captain Walton ain’t never gonna let you go!”

Walton? Dabria perked up a bit. Was he here now?

“Dabria! Can you hear me?” The female voice called again.

Was she calling her? Dabria was her name. Did she know the woman? She searched in the direction of the voices, but the setting sun along with the grey fog in her mind did not allow her to see clearly.

“Dabria! It’s Kiliki! We are here! We love you!”

Kiliki? She knew Kiliki. Who was she?

“Shut her up!” A voice she did know yelled, but he wasn’t happy. Dabria shivered. “They aren’t supposed to see each other, let alone talk, you morons. Get them to their rooms or I’ll throw you in next to them!”

“Walton?” Dabria heard herself whimper.

“I am here, mon chere.” A new hand replaced the old one guiding her.

“She asked for you,” her guard spoke.

“Really?” He sounded pleased.

“I told her you would come for her soon.”

“Good.” He put both hands on her arms and moved them up and down. “I am here, mon chere. We are together again. They cannot hurt you.”

“Why?” She asked.

“They are bad for you, remember? They abandoned you. I am here though. I will never leave you.”

But, the girl had said that she loved her. Dabria had heard her. Wasn’t that good? She was given no time to try and think about the new concept.

“I will take Dabria to her room. Make sure the others are secured in separate rooms of the main house. And do not let them talk to each other!”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” her guard replied, before moving away.

“Come, my dear, we will visit your new living quarters. I believe you will be very happy there.”

Dabria nodded her head. She wanted to respond, but her mind was foggy again and it hurt to think of an answer. Instead, she simply followed.

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She was tired. It was too long since… she couldn’t remember. The door opened and closed, but she didn’t move. She hurt inside. Everything was wrong. She was supposed to be happy. She knew that, but it couldn’t happen. Her mind was upset and it upset her stomach.

“I’m here, my little vixen,” Walton spoke in his usually suave tone.

“Hello,” she responded automatically.

“How are you this evening?”

The question was too complicated. It wasn’t a simple hello. How was she supposed to respond? Her head hurt. She buried it further into the pillow.

She heard a low growl from the man in the room, but she didn’t move.

“I talked to the so called Black Panther. He is beyond himself that I have tortured everyone in his family. I have enjoyed it.” He laughed. “The fool deserves so much more and I will take my time with what I shall do to him. He will become like putty in my hand for his actions.”

Dabria didn’t respond. Was that good? It sounded bad.

“Dabria, respond! It was weeks on the ship and over a month since we arrived! You no longer care for those who left you, so why do you act like this? Is it a trick? Did you eat something?” His voice grew more frustrated with each question. “Where is my vixen? Why are you not well?”

Dabria shrank into the bed further at the furious tone in his voice. Wasn’t he supposed to protect her? Her and him against everyone? Right? Was that wrong? Was that what the matter was?

She felt him grab her hand and haul her up. She didn’t resist. He put his face down closer to her and she felt him press against her neck.

“You are mine now. You might be sick for the moment, but you can’t stay that way. You will heal, mon chere. And then I will finish making you mine.”

Abruptly, he released her. She dropped back to the bed and hardly noticed the door had closed and locked. He could think what he wanted. She was sick and she wasn’t going to get well. Something was wrong. She couldn’t get well until it was right again and she was safe, somehow she was sure of at least this.

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