Chapter 31

Answered Prayer

Justin stood on the deck of The Guardian Star and stared up at the stars above him. There was no better view of the majestic bodies than out on the sea where even their reflections glittered off of the sea’s glossy surface. But it wasn’t those stars that held his attention at the moment. Instead, he saw his life in them. It had been a long journey to this point. If someone had told him while he was on the streets that he would one day take over for the Black Panther, he would have enjoyed a good laugh then tried to rob them. This was a life he could only dream about and yet he had spent the last years of his life watching it come true. The only thing he had wanted was to seize that power and dignity that had always been denied him on the streets, to know that he was in control of his own fate and commanded the respect of those who had once mocked him.

Yet, now as he gazed up at the stars it seemed to be that he had missed the point for all those years. Despite his hard work, his climb in the ranks of his peers, it meant so little to him now. He was indeed among the most feared on the ocean. Pirates of all ages hated his name and still hated the name of his ship. But it meant nothing to him now.

In the last few months, he had been tested as never before and he had been found wanting. In all of his power, he had no control over the fate of Dabria and her family. When she had needed him most, he had failed her. He felt as if he had control of the entire sea and yet he had control of nothing. How was this possible? Was his pathway in life so defined as to move where God willed it rather than himself? The more he tried to hold onto his hard won control the more he felt it slip through his fingers.

“God,” Justin heard himself whisper, “what do you want with a man such as myself? What am I missing? I have heard the arguments for you and I have wielded arguments against you. Yet, in the last months, my strength has slipped. I failed when I should have been at my strongest. You sent in a different champion to finish my task. I know that. What is it you want from me so badly? What am I missing to truly understand what it is I should do?”

Justin closed his eyes and bowed his head, aching to know the truth.

“Give up,” the male voice came from behind him.

Justin spun around, knowing there had been no one around when he had taken his place at the railing. He smiled wearily to see Maath and Namid standing there.

“We are sorry, Captain,” Namid apologized. “We know you wanted time to yourself, yet a few moments ago we each felt a strong urge that we needed to come to you.”

Justin could only nod. “Did one of you say ‘give up?’”

“Aye,” Maath responded quietly.

“Give up what?” Justin questioned.

“Your pride. Your control,” Maath answered.

“Is that what He really wants?” Justin asked, looking up at the stars again.

“It is what He requires, my young Captain. In order for His salvation, your heart must be humble and your motives pure.” Namid’s voice was calm assurance.

“Salvation? From what?” Justin asked.

“From yourself and the sins you commit, like the pride you hold onto so strongly. We are all sinners, Justin. It is what keeps up from spending eternity with God the Father as He wishes us too. In order to be accepted into His heaven, we must be purified of sin,” Namid explained patiently.

“How am I suppose to do that?” Justin asked.

“You can do no such thing. It is only by humbly admitting you are a sinner and that you need Christ to save you from those sins can you truly be forgiven,” Namid answered.

“And that’s it? Nothing more than that?” Justin’s voice held his disbelief that the entirety of his struggle for so long could so quickly be forgiven, just by requesting it to be so.

Namid smiled and shook his head no.

“But there must be more after that. What does He want me to do then?” Justin’s voice held a note of frustration.

“To live for Him instead of for yourself,” Maath responded this time.

“He wants to call the shots and tell me what course I have to follow.” Bitterness crept into Justin’s voice. It was the catch he hated, but knew was there. “I am no longer my own person, but His.”

“A bondservant to Christ, yes. You make it sound as if that is a bad thing, Justin,” Maath pointed out.

“Isn’t it?” Justin yelled, frustration overflowing. “He wants everything from me, even a future I can only begin to see now.”

“Exactly,” Maath smiled as Justin frowned.

“What you cannot see, Justin, is that He is planning all the time. He can see your past, present, and future and He has plans for you to prosper as His child. It is so promised in the Good Book.” Namid paused and put a hand on Justin’s shoulder. “You believe that handing your life over to God to control will ultimately be worse for you, but it is the opposite of that. As you have seen, your life is not guaranteed to be easy, but you will have God on your side to fight your battles with you. He will never give you more than you can handle. You will have the life He plans for you, the best life you can have while you live, another of His promises.”

“After what I’ve seen, I don’t know how to believe that.” Justin’s shoulders’ slumped.

“Trust not in what you can see,” Namid said, as his hand slipped from Justin’s shoulder, “but have faith in what you cannot see. Despite their ordeal, neither the Brent’s nor the Solon’s have lost their faith in God, indeed I believe if you were to ask them, it is stronger than before.”

“Which doesn’t make sense,” Justin pointed out.

“To you,” Maath corrected. “It doesn’t make sense to you because you do not yet know the God they serve. You can only understand so much without the Holy Spirit’s help.”

“I want to believe, but to give up so much…” Justin turned and leaned on the railing again.

“You must give up much to gain much,” Maath’s low voice said behind him.

“I think you will find that you have given up little and gained much in return if you truly wish to make that decision, Justin,” Namid amended.

“Guardian Star, what would you have me do?” Justin whispered impulsively.

In the quiet of the moment, Justin’s heart and mind stilled. He heard nothing but the gentle lapping of the sea against his mighty ship and he felt the wind wrap gently around him. Something soft and warm, a peace he would never be able to describe settled onto his shoulders. A still small voice seemed to come from outside of him and as he felt his heart beat again, with it came the words; trust me with your burden.

Justin swallowed, unsure how he could hear the words so clearly and yet he knew he had. Without moving, Justin replied to the words as he had heard them, in his heart. I do.

In that moment, Justin saw much of his past flash before him, he saw a future he had not dared to dream of, and yet he saw nothing at all, except a peace he could now claim as his own. His breath came out of him in a rush as if he had been holding it his whole life. With its expulsion, he felt the weight of trying to please everyone, the terror of failure, the fear of being forgotten, the compulsion of power and pride flee as well. In its place, he knew the gift of freedom. He gripped the railing as if he might fall over and allowed the feeling of freedom to center around his heart. He heard Maath and Namid behind him, yet they made no move towards their captain. He was grateful. The moment was his and God’s.

Slowly, his breathing steadied and his heart beat at a normal rate. The rush of emotions faded away and he was left standing on the deck of The Guardian Star a very different man than only moments before. He whispered a thank you and then turned to his friends.

“I didn’t realize.” Justin shook his head in wonder. “I was holding on so tightly to what I knew that I had no idea I had to give up what was already in me to gain everything.”

Maath and Namid grinned.

“It is an impossible concept until you truly know God,” Maath replied.

Justin nodded. “Yes. I was afraid to give up what I thought was my freedom to a God I couldn’t understand and yet, when I gave Him my burden…” Justin shook his head. “I had no idea what true freedom was.”

“So what will you do now?” Maath asked.

“I’m not sure. I guess I need to learn more about God if I am going to serve him. But I’m not even sure I know what that looks like,” Justin admitted.

“You will. In time, He will let you know,” Namid promised. “We follow the map He has given us in the Good Book. When we stay on its course, we are able to truly be His servants.”

“I guess it’s back to the old lessons again,” Justin smiled.

Maath and Namid laughed. “But this time, it will not be on ships!”

“No, this is even more important,” Justin responded seriously.

“You will learn and you will grow, my Captain,” Namid promised.

“Meanwhile,” Maath broke in, “will our mission remain the same?”

“To steal from pirates and return it to those whom it belongs? I don’t know. I’ve enjoyed making a name for myself doing that. I love being the pirate that other pirates can’t stand. But my motives were purely selfish. I’m guessing that will need to change, but Tommy did the same mission and he felt no need to change it. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what God has in store.”

Namid nodded. “He will let you know.”

“For now though, we are a couple of days from Trigger. Let’s set a course for there. I promised I’d be back and I know they will be anxious to hear how I’ve changed.”

“How God has changed you,” Namid corrected, with a smile.

Justin laughed. “Hey, I’m new at this whole humble thing! Give me some time!”

“Oh don’t worry, Captain, we will help you all the way!” Maath cheered gleefully.

Justin could only groan.

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A yawn escaped from her mouth and Dabria raised her hand to cover it and stretched. She felt so warm and good. She was safe here and everything felt so wonderful. She opened her eyes and smiled at all the clouds that surrounded her. It was so pretty. There was no one else in sight and yet she didn’t feel lonely at all. She was very content. She giggled and throwing her arms open wide made huge circles turning around and around and if she was ten again. She never wanted to leave this magical place.

“Yes, you do, Child.” The male voice came from behind her.

She swung around and smiled at the figure dressed in white. He was tall and handsome, but not particularly so. He had a kind face and a smile that assured her everything was all right.

“Why would I want to leave?” Dabria asked, smiling back. It was hard not to do so.

“Because you have a family waiting for you. It is time you woke from your hazy dream and stepped back into reality.”

Dabria frowned. “That doesn’t sound like fun. I like it here.”

“Yes, you should. This is the haven you created for yourself in your own mind.”

“My own mind?” Dabria looked around again at all the clouds. “That’s where we are.”

“Yes, Child. And now it is time to wake up. The danger is over. It is time to return.”

“I can’t!” Dabria protested, taking a step back and for the first time feeling fearful.

“Why not?” The man questioned.

“I’m not suppose too,” Dabria frowned, not understanding why, but spoke again anyway, “I’m waiting for something.”

“That which you are waiting for has already happened. Awaken and live again.”

The man raised his hand and touched it to Dabria’s forehead. Immediately, she felt herself begin to gently fall backwards towards the clouds. They parted, accepting her and folding her within their soft depths.

Dabria stretched and felt the blankets surrounding her. Slowly, she opened her eyes to the darkness of her bedroom. She had been dreaming, but the knowledge came and went quickly as she drifted back into a dreamless sleep.

The opening of the curtains and the light they allowed to spill onto her bed forced her awake yet again. A voice she thought she knew called her name and spoke gently to her. She felt herself being helped out of bed and getting dressed. A hand took hers and she followed as it led her down the steps. The smell of food deliciously prepared drifted up to her and she realized she was hunger.

As she ate, she could hear more voices surrounding her, talking and laughing. Soon, she heard voices begin to leave and someone tried to help her up, but she refused to move. She could still smell more food.

“I guess she’s not done eating!” One of the voices exclaimed.

“Well, let her eat as much as she wants. It’s a good sign,” another answered.

She couldn’t completely understand what they said, but she knew it was good when she was allowed to stay sitting and more food appeared. She ate until she could eat no more and then the gentle hand was back and guided her into another room.

The haze before her eyes had cleared some while she was eating and while she had never been blind, she felt like she could see better. The people sitting in the room were still talking and many had different projects out they were working on. She wasn’t sure what she was suppose to do, but the hand seemed to know and guided her to a seat.

“Dabria?” The voice asked. Dabria startled. She knew that name! It was her! “We are going to keep drawing. See, you hold the pencil like this. And then you move it across the paper.” The person beside her took her hand and Dabria felt the pencil placed into it. Her hand moved as described. It was a familiar feeling. She knew these motions. She liked to do this. The knowledge came from somewhere inside her.

Something hit her leg. She startled, but the person beside her quickly put a hand on her and gently reassured her.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Bree. Tadi wasn’t supposed to do that,” a young guilty voice said in front of her.

Dabria smiled. She liked this boy. He was fun and he liked playing with her, but how did she know that and who was he? These answers did not come.

“I like how I’m responsible for your mess up!” Tadi, at least that seemed who it was, protested.

“Of course!” The young boy responded quickly.

“You have far too much of your uncle in you!” A new voice interjected, but she seemed more amused than unhappy.

Dabria started. She knew that voice! That voice meant everything to her! She hadn’t heard it in a long time. She thought it was gone. Who was this person?

“Adem, you shouldn’t be playing that inside anyways. You know better,” she spoke again.

Adem sighed. “Yes, Mom.”

Dabria scrunched her nose, thinking hard. She knew these voices! She knew these people! She cared about them! Why couldn’t she remember!

She felt her breathing begin to increase.

“She’s panicking!” The person beside her called out.

“She was fine seconds ago,” a new voice protested.

“Take her outside. Let her walk around. She doesn’t seem that bad. Get her some fresh air.” The person that she wanted to remember so desperately spoke again.

She felt herself being helped up. She just wanted to know. Why couldn’t she remember? What was wrong with her?

She felt the sun on her face, but it gave her no pleasure, the haze began to thicken around her and just as suddenly it was gone. A feeling of calm from somewhere inside her began to spread. With it came a reassurance that she would remember, it would take time, but she would remember.

The walk lasted for a long time and eventually, she found herself inside eating again. Afterwards, she was back in the sunlight, but this time, her constant friend was reading to her. The words were familiar ones. As if she could almost say them with her friend because they were written on her very heart. The words spoke of One who never abandoned and who always loved. The settled into Dabria’s heart and she felt their peace take hold. After the reading, they went for another walk, but this time it was to the stable. The sights, sounds, and smells all breaking up the haze.

After the evening meal, the people gathered in the same room from earlier. Dabria was given a cup with something warm in it and she held it as she listened to the different people talk. Their voices soothing as they discussed some things she could understand and others that she wasn’t quite sure of, still she listened.

“Why, I tell you if he ever so much as touches those again, I’ll send him right out on his ear!”

“Aunt Jada, you love your gardener and you would do no such thing,”

“You just wait and see if I won’t. Petunias! Why would he even think those would be acceptable in my garden!” Aunt Jada still fumed.

“Perhaps because they are pretty,” someone suggested.

“Hmmph,” was Aunt Jada’s reply. “Pretty is not good enough for my garden, Emalia! They have to be beautiful and amazing! I should get Justin to bring me some flowers from Retena! That would show that old gardener who’s boss!”

Laughter followed.

“Has Justin ever been out of Zerlinda?” The person whom Dabria most wanted to remember spoke.

“Not that I know of,” a male voice spoke. It was full of authority and commanded respect. Dabria knew his voice too. This person was important too.

“When is he coming back? It’s been days! He said it wouldn’t take long,” the young boy from earlier questioned.

“I’m not sure. Justin has a lot on his mind. Have you been praying for him, Adem?”

“Every night,” Adem answered proudly.

Dabria concentrated on the name. Justin. She knew that name. She knew that person. He was… what? Where was he? Suddenly, Dabria wanted him back too. She couldn’t quite remember him and yet she knew the emotions that were attached to him. She suddenly felt desperate to have him there.

“I don’t think we should talk about Justin anymore,” her friend said from her side.

“Why?” A new male voice asked.

“I’m not sure, but I think it’s upsetting Dabria,” her friend answered.

“Dabria?” The important voice asked, concerned. She saw the woman get up and move to her side, where she sat again. “Bree? Do you know Justin?” She seemed to wait for an answer, but Dabria wasn’t sure how to respond. “Do you know who I am?”

Dabria felt tears spring to her eyes. She only knew she cared! That she was important to her! But she couldn’t explain it! She wanted to understand so badly!

“Bree! Don’t cry, honey.” She felt arms gather her close and being to rock gently. “Don’t cry. You’ll remember. I’m you sister, Bree. I’m Kiliki. I’m your sister. Remember, Little Sister,” she whispered as she rocked.

Dabria heard the words and felt the arms surround her. She clutched tightly to the woman’s clothes. They smelled like home. That’s why she knew them so well. She was home. Dabria felt the tears come harder. She was home.

This was Kiliki, her sister. Her sister had her in her arms. She was home and safe. Her family was safe. Everything she had been hiding from was over. She was with her sister and they were home. Kiliki squeezed her tighter.

“Don’t cry, Bree. It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re with your sister. I’m here, Bree. You’re okay.”

“I know,” Dabria whispered against her sisters clothing.

She felt Kiliki’s rocking slow down and then come to a stop.

“I know,” Dabria whispered again and she heard her sister catch her breath.

Dabria looked up and met her sister’s eyes through her tears. “I remember.”

“Dabria!” Kiliki cried out joyfully and squeezed her sister tighter.

Dabria laughed and squeezed back.

“How?” Kiliki managed to choke out.

“I don’t know,” Dabria answered, letting go of her sister with one hand to wipe away her tears. “I had a dream last night, I think. I remember being happy and being told it was safe now. And I’ve been remembering things, small things, all day. Then when I heard Justin’s name I felt like I knew him. And when you held me I knew I was home. I can’t really explain it more than that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kiliki shook her head. “You’re better again.”

Dabria smiled and turned to look over her family. “Thanks to all of you.”

“Thanks to God,” Aunt Jada clarified.

Dabria nodded. “Yes, Him too.”

Dabria felt two arms snake around her waist and give her a hug. She twisted to smile at Salena and hug her back.

“It’s good to see the real you again,” Salena smiled.

“It’s good to finally be home,” Dabria answered. “So, tell me what I’ve been missing. I don’t remember anything after…” Dabria paused as she felt a shudder go through her, but continued, “After I had to eat dinner with Walton.”

“We have no idea what happened to you, Dabria. We were hoping you would be able to tell us,” Tommy said from his place by the mantle.

Dabria shook her head. “Unfortunately, I don’t remember anything. He wanted me to believe that you had all deserted me, I think, to only depend on him. I guess I went inside myself to protect me from whatever he had planned. But that’s really all I know.”

“Well, we can tell you the rest,” Evyn said.

With that the tales from both sides were told and over an hour later, Dabria finally had the full story of their captivity and subsequent rescue. She was silent for a long moment after, taking in all the facts.

“Wow,” Dabria finally breathed. “I can’t even think of what to say. Adem, you were so brave!” She reached down out to her nephew a hug, though to congratulate him or reassure herself that he was all right, she wasn’t sure.

Adem accepted her hug and then stepped back and shrugged. “It wasn’t so bad. The angel kept me company. He said it would be all right. I just had to wait.”

“Angel?” Kiliki questioned, obviously never hearing this before.

Adem nodded firmly. “Yep.”

“Did this angel stay with you the whole time?” Kiliki asked, while Evyn spouted, “What did he look like?”

“Yep. He came after Walton put me in the room and he didn’t leave until Sheron came and got me. He looked like a nice man who wanted to be friends.” Adam stated it matter-of-factly as if there was nothing unusual at all in his words.

“An angel,” Emalia whispered, smiling. “No one will ever convince me we don’t have guardian angels. Isn’t that so, Kiliki?”

Kiliki shared a smile with her friend remembering a time when Emalia swore an angel stopped the sword that should have removed her head from her body. “Never.”

“So, Justin didn’t say when he was coming back?” Dabria asked the question that had really been on her mind.

“No, but he’ll be here when he is ready,” Tommy replied. “He said it would only be a few days and it has been almost a week.”

Dabria nodded and sent up a prayer for his quick return. She wanted nothing more than to see him right now, if nothing else to say thank you for coming after her. She allowed the conversation to swirl around her as she contemplated where he might be and what he was thinking. She only knew that he had told Kiliki and Tommy he had to take the time to process all that had happened. She hoped he processed it quickly and made the right decisions for both their sakes.

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