Chapter 30

Home

Despite the fact that it was in the middle of the night, Aunt Jada had the entire household awake moments after they arrived in Triger. Aunt Jada and Emalia had moved into the townhouse to be close to the docks in case any news came. There was celebration in the air as the weary travelors tromped inside to be greeted by overjoyed family and servants alike. Aradon had a wealth of excited servants taking supplies from them and moving Aunt Jada’s welcome reception from the entrance way into the parlor. Aunt Jada didn’t seem to mind as long as she was allowed to continue hugging everyone within reach. The only low moment was the fact that Dabria stood more on the sidelines and barely acknowledged the hugs and kisses she was given. Justin’s heart hurt for her as he watched Salena give her best friend a hug only to receive nothing in return.

Salena smiled sadly and whispered to her friend, “It will be okay. Now that you are home you’ll get better quickly.”

Tadi had obviously kept his promise to Justin to help Salena get through this. Though he gave Dabria a welcome home hug, his eyes never strayed from the other girl. Justin kept an eye on the three of them as he glanced around the room. With the exception of Namid and Maath, who had elected to stay on the ship until morning, everyone who meant something to him was here. Tommy and Kiliki sat next to each other, holding hands, as they talked to Sahen about their time. Evyn carried his daughter, Rosalyse, in one arm and kept his other around his wife, their heads bent close together. Aunt Jada bounced happily from group to group, keeping an eye on everyone, as if afraid they might disappear into smoke. Adem was tugging on Tadi’s arm and had soon drawn the young man over to roughhouse with him, though Justin noticed their game never took them to far away from Adem’s parents. Walton was gone and the family was safe, but the marks he had caused remained and they would see things differently from now on.

The family talked for what seemed like hours, while Aradon kept the servants busy with a continuous supply of food and drinks being moved around the room. The servants seemed just as happy to be able to serve tonight as the family was to be able to sit together and talk. It wasn’t long however before Dabria’s head slowly dropped and settled onto Salena’s shoulder. Justin smiled, weary enough to want to fall asleep himself. Aunt Jada looked up and noticing the sleeping girl, immediately clapped her hands causing stillness in the room, as both family and servants turned to the matriarch.

“All right, everyone, while it is wonderful you are all home and I want to talk to you for hours more, I shall have to contain my wishes until tomorrow. It is time for bed. Dabria needs her rest and so do the rest of you, I wager. Tomorrow, we shall have a wonderful day with a picnic out by the lake. Dabria needs to have things go back to normal for her, so that she can see she is no longer surrounded by the horrid man and his crew. A picnic and a horse ride is just the thing. We shall sleep in tomorrow and then we shall leave as soon as everyone is ready to go. Aradon, see that it is all ready.” Aunt Jada looked to Aradon, who nodded calmly. “Now, hustle to bed, hustle to bed!”

Everyone laughed at her obviously joyful commands and trouped up to their own rooms. It had been a long day and the rest would feel wonderful.

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Salena ushered Dabria into the parlor and directed her to a seat, before collapsing next to her. The women in the room looked up quickly at the obviously tired girl.

“Oh no,” Kiliki moaned. “Another rough night, Salena?”

Salena straightened slightly and answered, “Yes. She woke three or four times and cried out for him. She was mumbling about being alone again. I thought things would get better as time passed, but it only seems to get worse as she figures out he’s not coming for her.”

Kiliki frowned and Emalia covered her sister-in-law’s hands with her own. “She’s readjusting. That’s all. Give her more time. It’s barely been a week. She’s going through quite a large number of changes quickly.”

“I wish we could do more. It seems like we’ve tried everything,” Kiliki murmured, misery in her voice.

Aunt Jada snorted. “That is because we have!”

“Aunt Jada!” Emalia protested.

“Well, it’s true,” Aunt Jada exclaimed indignantly. “We never leave her alone. For heaven’s sake, Salena even moved into her room! She does daily tasks with minimal help, we have her play with Rosalyse as much as we can,” Aunt Jada paused in her list to motion to the sleeping child in her cradle. “She follows Kiliki around as Kiliki follows Adem, we force her to eat, why, I even take her for walks in the garden and we discover all the mistakes that fool gardener keeps coming up with. Why that man can’t get a simple garden right, I will never know!”

“Your garden is anything but simple, Aunt Jada, and we all know he is a wonderful gardener, you are just particular.” Emalia responded with a fond smile.

Aunt Jada let out a humph and continue her harangued, “The point, my dear, is that we have done everything humanly possible to help Dabria. There is nothing more that we can do!”

“So, should we just give up? Is it hopeless then?” Kiliki asked, startled.

Aunt Jada’s face quickly changed from incensed to gentle. “Of course not, darling. Only at this point, humanly we can only continue what we are already doing. God must reverse what the child has done to herself. Our answer is no longer in this world, but in the supernatural one of the God in heaven. It is in His hands when the child will awaken from this.”

“But when will that be, Aunt Jada?” Salena questioned quietly from her spot next to her best friend. “She doesn’t even recognize us! Not even Kiliki! You have to ask simple questions to get even the smallest of responses from her...except of course when you mention him.” Salena’s spoke the word ‘him’ as if were the vilest on earth.

The family had stopped using Walton’s name whenever Dabria was around. It was the only name she seemed to understand and the one name she would respond to emotionally. Her eyes would light up if she thought he was near or sadness and confusion crossed them when she was told he was not around and could no longer harm her. It brought the family pain no matter how they responded, so eventually it was decided it was best to not mention his name at all and hopefully the hold it had over her would release as well. So far, however, such had not been the case.

“Yes, well him can just go to…”

“Aunt Jada!” Kiliki and Emalia both cried out at the same time.

“What?” Aunt Jada looked at them with wide innocent eyes. “I didn’t say anything yet!”

Kiliki sighed and shook her head. “Sometimes, Aunt Jada…”

“Yes?” Aunt Jada questioned with a smile.

Kiliki laughed and finally responded, “Never mind.”

Aunt Jada nodded her head as if justified. “We pray, my dear children. It is in God’s timing, so we pray. She will recognize us again. We will continue to tell her who we are before we speak. We will show her that despite what that heathen obviously forced her to believe, we did not abandon her and he is not the only one who’s ever cared about her. We continue to shower her with all the love and affection we can muster, both in our voices and in our touch. We give her every reason to know that we are here and we love her as we always will. And finally, we pray. We pray with everything we have that the Almighty Jehovah, the Great Healer, will reach down and touch her mind to uncloud it and bring her fully back to us. That is what we do today and tomorrow and for as long as it takes.”

“Faith is never so hard as when you cannot see the results you wish for,” Kiliki whispered.

“Faith is assurance of things hoped for, proof of things not seen,” Emalia quoted from the Good Book.

“Hence, why it is called faith,” Aunt Jada added.

“Father God, you alone know all that our Dabria was been through. You alone can bring her out of the state she is in and back to the family that loves her. Please, heal our sister. Heal her mind and her heart, allow her to see the truth before her. And help us all to have faith and trust in Your love and plan,” Kiliki spoke out loud her impromptu prayer.

“Amen.” The other three room responded together.

Dabria blinked her eyes slowly, but said nothing.

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“I don’t care what you say! I heard her!” Aunt Jada proclaimed loudly.

“We believe you, Aunt Jada! But you want us to go right now?” Tommy tried to calm his aunt and clarify at the same time.

“Right now! The girl asked to go on a trip. We are going on a trip!” Aunt Jada responded, before turning and rushing out of the room, calling Aradon’s name.

Those left behind laughed at her antics, but quickly sobered as Salena entered the room with Dabria at her side. Justin looked at the girl he had fallen in love with and wished desperately he could recognize the light in her eyes. They seemed so dull when she looked around the room as if her spirit had left her and only the shell remained. And yet there were times, when Kiliki would touch her and the spirit would spark in them again. Occasionally, when he spoke to her, he could see that same spirit ready to jump out and yet it seemed like something blocked the pathway. While he didn’t know what it was, that didn’t stop him from desperately wishing he could help her to get rid of it.

Kiliki turned to Dabria. “It’s Kiliki, Dabria. Sweetie, would you like to go for a ride? Would you enjoy a ride?”

Dabria turned towards the sound and seemed to frown in concentration.

“Dabria, would you like to ride a horse?” Kiliki tried again.

“Okay,” Dabria responded, as if still thinking about the words.

Kiliki shrugged. “Well, maybe she did ask for a ride. I don’t know, but Aunt Jada is certainly convinced. We are going for a ride.”

Adem clapped his hands in delight. “Yeah! I want to ride Black Thunder!”

“Oh really? You think you’re old enough for that horse? He is quite a bit to handle.” Kiliki smiled at her son.

“I am absolutely old enough!” Adem responded indignantly, fists tightened at his side in protest.

Tommy grinned and patted his boy on the head. “Yes, you are at that. You’ve been growing up in leaps and bounds. All right, you may ride him, but you need to stick close to either Tadi or myself. Understood?”

“Yes, Father,” Adem replied quickly.

“Come on, Dabria,” Justin said walking over to her and Salena. “Let’s go get your horse ready.”

Dabria turned again to his voice and he took her hand to lead her out of the room.

“Salena are you coming?” Justin asked.

“As always,” Salena responded, stepping back to Dabria’s side.

The three moved through the house and down the path towards the stables. It almost felt like old times with just the three of them together again. And yet, there was one drastic difference.

“Have you noticed any change at all?” Justin questioned.

“Some. She seems to respond to touch best. She used to shrink from it, but not anymore. Now, she seems to crave it.” Salena looked down to where Justin was still holding on to Dabria’s hand. “She wouldn’t have tolerated that earlier.”

Justin nodded. “I know. I feel like I have to keep a hold on her or she is going to fly even farther away.”

“I don’t think that’s the case,” Salena thought at loud. “I’m hoping when she does decide to fly it will be towards us and not away. We were talking only a couple of days ago how we are doing everything we can and at this point we have to pray to God that He will heal her mind and bring her back to us.”

“We will have to see,” Justin answered.

Salena nodded and took Dabria’s other hand. “Dabria, what horse would you like to ride? Lady’s Rose is ready to go. She missed you while you were gone. We could have Laton saddle her. Would you like that?” Salena asked, mentioning the stable hand.

Dabria seemed to think about it for a moment, but no response followed.

Salena let out a little sigh, but continued as if Dabria had answered. “Okay, then we’ll saddle her. The weather is beautiful today. You picked a perfect day to ride and I know Aradon will have Cook pack up something delicious for lunch. Do you remember when we were kids and we use to sneak down to the kitchen to eat the leftover desserts? That was the first time we met Tadi. He was doing the same thing. We had so much fun back then. Do you remember? We got into so much trouble too.”

Justin laughed. “Yes, you did. It’s amazing you’ve survived this far with all your limbs in tack.”

“Ha, ha,” Salena responded, but with a smile.

“Salena!” Tadi’s voice called from the direction of the stables. The young man waved and walked over to them with a grin that was obviously for Salena alone. “Have you guys come to ride?”

“Aunt Jada believes Dabria told her she wanted to go for a ride. So, she’s informed the rest of the family we are all going,” Salina said, smiling back.

“That sounds like Aunt Jada! I’d better help Laton then. That’s a lot of horses to saddle.”

“We’d like to have Dabria saddle her own, if that’s okay,” Salena requested.

“No problem. Do you think it will help?”

“Who knows what will help, but working together with us has to do something right?” Salena asked, more than stated.

“I’m sure it does,” Tadi reassured. “Your love for her is what matters most. She’s a strong girl and she can feel that. Even if we can’t tell right now.” Tadi turned towards his friend. “You’re strong, aren’t you, Dabria?” Tadi asked with the confidence of one who already knew the answer.

Dabria seemed to smile, but that was the only real response.

Justin squeezed her hand. “She’s the strongest girl I know. Come on, let’s get your horse saddled.”

The four friends continued towards the stable, laughing and talking together.

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Things were still wrong. It had been so long since things were right, but she couldn’t really remember what was right anymore, only that it was better. She hadn’t heard his voice in so long either, the one who was suppose to protect her and the only one who cared about her. Who was that?

Walton. That was his name. Where was he? Why wasn’t he with her? The people around her use to mention him, but they hadn’t in a long time. And whenever they talked about him they sounded mean and angry. What had he done that had angered them? He was suppose to make her happy. But she wasn’t happy. Was she? She seemed to be upset. Yes, she was upset because things should be right and they weren’t. But she couldn’t figure out why.

The haze surrounding her mind floated in and out and it kept the answers she wanted desperately far away or not there at all. She couldn’t be sure of what happened around her. The words people spoke and the things they did never really made sense. She only knew that she didn’t feel so lost here. Something made her feel safer than before. Was it the voices? There was so many of them. She couldn’t remember the last time she had heard so many voices.

Walton’s was the voice she knew. His was the one that told her it would be okay and that he would take care of her. She belonged to him that was what he had said and she knew it was true. But somehow that didn’t seem right. Something had always seemed wrong about that. Like something inside her whispered that it was a lie and she had to keep believing. But she wasn’t sure what to believe in anymore.

There were so many of these new voices and they all told her different things. They told her Walton was bad and he couldn’t hurt her anymore. Had he hurt her? She couldn’t remember that. They said he wouldn’t come for her, but they didn’t say why. Where was he? Why didn’t he want to be with her anymore? What had she done wrong?

The voices said that they loved her, she was strong, they wanted her to get better, and they would take care of her. She thought she understood that, but the haze made what should have been simple, so hard to grasp.

She heard one of the voices again as it spoke to her. Something touched her hand, a gentle, but firm touch. It helped her hand to move along something soft and silky. Whatever her hands were on shifted slightly. She could feel it going in and out and in and out. Slowly, her own breathing timed to this new rhythm. She moved her hands up and down the softness. She had felt this before. It was familiar touch, but she couldn’t place it. She wasn’t sure how or why she knew it, but it brought her comfort. She smiled at the feeling that this was good and spread her fingers wide to feel it better. She felt another hand touch hers again and she moved. It wasn’t a coarse hand and it didn’t hurt her.

She remembered something, something about Walton. Had the voices been right and he had hurt her? She thought he wasn’t always as gentle as this hand was. This hand took hers and allowed hers to move up and down the silky softness smoothly.

The voice that she heard wasn’t Walton’s. Whoever he was, he spoke gently and calmly. He told her the horse liked her. She liked horses too. She wasn’t sure how she knew this, but she was sure it was true. She smiled. He allowed her to pet the horse for a moment longer, before speaking to her again and guiding her backwards. She felt hands on her hips and then she was lifted off the ground and placed on top of something. It took her a moment to realize it was the horse. The hands that had touched her so gently before handed her a rope and fashioned her hands over top of it, making her hold it a certain way.

By now, more voices had joined them and the touch left. Why did it leave? She’d enjoyed that touch. It was so gentle and calming. She had missed feeling a touch like that. Walton wasn’t here, and yet she was being touched. She wanted things to be good and safe and for the bad part to go away. Was she finally safe again? Nothing made sense to her! If only the haze would go away and she could think and see clearly again!

She felt the horse beneath her move and she enjoyed the wind in her air and brushing against her face. She could hear the voices around her talking and laughing. She wasn’t sure how much time passed.

These people did seem to care and love her. Their touch was gentle and their voices were calm. They didn’t scare her. She used to be scared. Walton scared her. These people gave her peace, whoever they were. They must have a reason to care about her. She knew the answer was somewhere inside of her. It was as if some part of her was locked behind the haze. Until she could find the key and cross the haze, it would remain locked. She could only hope she found it soon. That would make her happy once again.

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Justin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew this point had been coming and there was nothing he could really do about it. He needed to think clearly and he couldn’t do that here. Kiliki had said that he needed time to process and take time alone with The Guardian Star, something that was not possible in this house. It was worse than a large port. People were constantly stopping by to wish the family well and insert themselves into the scandal of a kidnapping. Plus, there was Dabria. When he was around her, he could think of nothing but her. Of course, that applied to when he wasn’t around her as well. He hated to go away from her, but at the same time he knew it was what he needed. It didn’t have to be for a long time, but in order to think he needed the solitude and comfort of the sea. His ship was waiting.

He walked into the parlor to find Salena patiently trying to help Dabria draw. The girl moved her hand with Dabria’s over the paper and made comments on the beauty of their progress.

Salena looked up at his entrance. “Hello, Justin.”

“Hi. I need to talk to Dabria. I was thinking we could go for a walk in the garden.”

“I’m sure she’d love that. This wasn’t going very well anyway.” Salena took the pencil from Dabria’s hand and pulled the paper off her lap.

Justin walked over and helped her to stand. “Dabria, it’s Justin. Will you take a walk with me?”

Dabria tilted her head to the side and then nodded.

He led her outside and into the garden where they could talk. Justin took a quiet moment to study the young woman. Her hair had been pulled back from her face and tied at the nape of her neck. A few rebellious strands had escaped to grace the side of her face. Her blue eyes that normally sparked with life and mischief, seemed dull, and yet he could tell the Dabria he loved was still there. Her face still had the look of a pure, sweet pixie and yet had matured into that of a grown woman. She had always been small in stature and even now her head barely came up to the top of his chest. Despite her hazy mind, she still managed to walk with a grace that was all her own.

The thought of having to leave her even for a few days made his chest tighten. He wanted to be around as she began the process of waking from the haze that surrounded her. But over the last couple of days he had grown more restless as if something inside him was warning him he could no longer put off his own decisions.

Slowly, he stopped their progress and led her to one of Aunt Jada’s many garden benches, helping her to sit and then taking the spot next to her. He took a deep breath and secured her soft, warm hands back in his.

“Pixie, can you look at me?” He was please when her face turned towards his voice. “You’ve been so strong. I’m proud of how you have been trying so hard to get better. You improve more each day. That’s how I know it is okay to leave you for a little while. I have some things that I need to take care of. I can’t figure them out here. I’m focused too much on what’s happening here…on you.”

He lifted a hand to her face. Her face turned towards his touch and pressed against it. A small smile appeared on her. He wondered what she was thinking in that moment. If only her eyes would respond as well and show the spirit of the Pixie he loved.

“I’ve learned a lot over the past few years, but no more so than the past few months. I have some decisions I need to make. I have all the information I need and no one can help me anymore. The problem is I need to talk to God myself now. I can’t become the man you need without figureing out who I am in Him first. There are too many distractions here to do that. There is simply too much going on and I think better on the sea anyway. I won’t be gone long, perhaps only a few days.”

Dabria seemed to be paying attention, because she frowned as he spoke of leaving. Whether that was because of the words or his tone of voice Justin wasn’t sure. He had no way of knowing if she really understood, but he knew she was at least listening. His chest tightened as he wondered whether she understood or if she cared.

“I love you, Dabria.” The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying. He looked at her in shock, but her face remained unchanged. He curled his fingers against her check and stroked it gently. “I love you, Dabria,” he repeated. “I’m coming back for you soon. We will figure this whole mess out as soon as you are well enough. That I promise you.”

Justin paused and looked more closely at her. A single tear had escaped from her eye and was running slowly down her check.

“Dabria! Are you crying? Why? What did I do?”

He stood and pulled on her gently, tugging until she came into his arms. He gathered her close. “Don’t cry, Dabria. Whatever is wrong, don’t cry. I’ll be back. We will fix everything then. It will be all right. You’ll be happy again. I’ll be back. I love you.”

He held the girl in his arms for a long moment and almost without realizing it sent up a prayer to God for her comfort and healing.

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Dabria felt the moisture slip down her cheek. She thought that meant she was crying. The man’s voice was so serious and the words he spoke seemed very important. She couldn’t understand everything he said to her or what all the words meant, but she could understand the emotions. He seemed so sad and that made her sad as well.

She felt him pull her close and she nestled against him. She wanted them both to be happy again. That was what she should be asking for, that these people who cared so much about her be happy and safe together. That was what was good. But something inside her cautioned that all wasn’t that way yet, that something important was missing. It was what she was waiting for, only when the missing part was in place would she be able to be well again. She wasn’t sure what it was, but somehow she knew that Whoever was looking out for her knew and she would be made well when it was time.

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